Life is Practice
Over the past 20 years, I've worked with countless numbers of people on reaching their goals and creating behavior modifications. Throughout this process, I have recognized the task of setting fixed goals, or simply doing traditional "goal-setting", is not the answer. Historically, when people came into my gym for their first appointment, we would sit down and determine what "results" meant to them. Results would often require setting hard weight loss goals, making unrealistic dietary changes, and to add a bit of pressure, all of it was time-framed because, of course, we were trying to be SMART!
The problem I faced with my clients was whenever we set a hard goal with a due date, people would do "whatever it takes" to achieve that goal. Doing whatever it takes does not allow for the natural behavior-change process to occur. Clients would engage in activities they didn't enjoy, just to lose an extra pound, and restrict themselves from eating foods they loved, just to go down another belt notch. This "whatever it takes" mentality, completely missed the mark of what they actually need.
Although this did help some people lose weight in the interim, ultimately they would gain the weight back over time. This approach continuously failed because the end result was too static and the process did not allow for true growth.
When doing growth-setting with my clients, I follow a process I call: The VGA Method - Vision, Growth and Action. The first step requires people to visualize how they see themselves living their lives, and how that life feels, down to the smallest detail. I ask them to think about the person they would like to become, and ask basic questions like, "How does that version of you sleep?", "What makes you laugh?", "How do you give and receive love?".
The growth part gives people the opportunity to pick which elements of that life they would like to embrace first, and put together a plan for how they will adjust to the curve balls life will throw at them on their journey. There is room for setting some goals here, but to put it simply, the growth component is about establishing what new habits you want to acquire, not what milestones you want to hit. We know old habits are hard to break, but making new ones is equally as challenging. The process naturally requires resistance.
Next comes the action component. Action is for defining your practice. This is a very important concept because the word "practice" does not imply perfection. The word practice implies failure. Practice is synonymous with the process, or the journey, which we have all heard, is way more important than the destination. It is on the journey where you grow, and at the destination where you pick another journey. Your practice is more than just how you will live your daily life. In its essence, it is the foundation from which you will make all decisions. The foundation is a place that embraces love and respect for yourself and the experience of life.
The time I have spent in my field, and living my life with purpose, has led me to the development of a mantra that I live by and share daily. It states, "Life is practice. Practice only what you want to become a habit. The quality of your life is determined by the sum and the nature of your habits."